THE TAMING OF A SHREW

KEYPUNCHED JUNE 1971 FROM THE COPY IN THE HUNTINGTON LIBRARY.

    A PLEASANT CONCEITED HISTORY, CALLED THE TAMING OF A SHREW.

      AS IT WAS SUNDRY TIMES ACTED BY THE RIGHT HONORABLE THE EARL OF

         PEMBROKE HIS SERVANTS.

                       A PLEASANT CONCEITED HISTORY, CALLED

                              THE TAMING OF A SHREW.

     ENTER A TAPSTER, BEATING OUT OF HIS DOORS

                   SLY DRUNKEN.

 TAPSTER.  YOU WHORESON DRUNKEN SLAVE, YOU HAD BEST BE GONE,

AND EMPTY YOUR DRUNKEN PAUNCH SOMEWHERE ELSE

FOR IN THIS HOUSE THOU SHALT NOT REST TONIGHT.       (EXIT TAPSTER.

 SLY.  TILLY VALLY, BY CRISEE, TAPSTER, I'LL FEEZE YOU ANON.

FILL'S THE TOTHER POT AND ALL'S PAID FOR, LOOK YOU

I DO DRINK IT OF MINE OWN INSTIGATION, OMNE BENE:

HERE I'LL LIE A WHILE, WHY TAPSTER, I SAY,

FILL'S A FRESH CUSHION HERE.

HEIGH HO, HERE'S GOOD WARM LYING.     (HE FALLS ASLEEP.

       ENTER A NOBLEMAN AND HIS MEN FROM HUNTING.

 LORD.  NOW THAT THE GLOOMY SHADOW OF THE NIGHT,

LONGING TO VIEW ORION'S DRIZZLING LOOKS,

LEAPS FROM TH' ANTARCTIC WORLD UNTO THE SKY

AND DIMS THE WELKIN WITH HER PITCHY BREATH,

AND DARKSOME NIGHT O'ERSHADES THE CRYSTAL HEAVENS

HERE BREAK WE OFF OUR HUNTING FOR TONIGHT.

COUPLE UP THE HOUNDS AND LET US HIE US HOME,

AND BID THE HUNTSMAN SEE THEM MEATED WELL,

FOR THEY HAVE ALL DESERV'D IT WELL TODAY.

BUT SOFT, WHAT SLEEPY FELLOW IS THIS LIES HERE?

OR IS HE DEAD, SEE ONE WHAT HE DOTH LACK.

 SERVINGMAN.  MY LORD, TIS NOTHING BUT A DRUNKEN SLEEP,

HIS HEAD IS TOO HEAVY FOR HIS BODY,

AND HE HATH DRUNK SO MUCH THAT HE CAN GO NO FURTHER.

 LORD.  FIE, HOW THE SLAVISH VILLAIN STINKS OF DRINK.

HO, SIRRAH, ARISE.  WHAT, SO SOUND ASLEEP?

GO, TAKE HIM UP AND BEAR HIM TO MY HOUSE,

AND BEAR HIM EASILY FOR FEAR HE WAKE,

AND SET A SUMPTUOUS BANQUET ON THE BOARD,

AND PUT MY RICHEST GARMENTS ON HIS BACK,

THEN SET HIM AT THE TABLE IN A CHAIR:

WHEN THAT IS DONE, AGAINST HE SHALL AWAKE,

LET HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAY ABOUT HIM STILL.

GO TWO OF YOU AWAY AND BEAR HIM HENCE

AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE DEVIS'D,

BUT SEE IN ANY CASE YOU WAKE HIM NOT.           (EXEUNT TWO WITH SLY.

NOW TAKE MY CLOAK AND GIVE ME ONE OF YOURS,

ALL FELLOWS NOW, AND SEE YOU TAKE ME SO,

FOR WE WILL WAIT UPON THIS DRUNKEN MAN,

TO SEE HIS COUNTENANCE WHEN HE DOTH AWAKE

AND FIND HIMSELF CLOTHED IN SUCH ATTIRE,

WITH HEAVENLY MUSIC SOUNDING IN HIS EARS,

AND SUCH A BANQUET SET BEFORE HIS EYES.

THE FELLOW SURE WILL THINK HE IS IN HEAVEN.

BUT WE WILL BE ABOUT HIM WHEN HE WAKES,

AND SEE YOU CALL HIM 'LORD' AT EVERY WORD,

AND OFFER THOU HIM HIS HORSE TO RIDE ABROAD,

AND THOU HIS HAWKS AND HOUNDS TO HUNT THE DEER,

AND I WILL ASK WHAT SUITS HE MEANS TO WEAR,

AND WHATSOE'ER HE SAITH, SEE YOU DO NOT LAUGH,

BUT STILL PERSUADE HIM THAT HE IS A LORD.

                          ENTER ONE.

 MES.  AND IT PLEASE YOUR HONOR YOUR PLAYERS BE COME

AND DO ATTEND YOUR HONOR'S PLEASURE HERE.

 LORD.  THE FITTEST TIME THEY COULD HAVE CHOSEN OUT.

BID ONE OR TWO OF THEM COME HITHER STRAIGHT.

NOW WILL I FIT MYSELF ACCORDINGLY,

FOR THEY SHALL PLAY TO HIM WHEN HE AWAKES.

    (ENTER TWO OF THE PLAYERS WITH PACKS AT THEIR BACKS, AND A BOY.

NOW SIRS, WHAT STORE OF PLAYS HAVE YOU?

 SAN.  MARRY, MY LORD YOU MAY HAVE A TRAGICAL

OR A COMMODITY, OR WHAT YOU WILL.

 THE-OTHER.  A COMEDY, THOU SHOULD'ST SAY, ZOUNDS, THOU'D SHAME US ALL.

AND DRESS YOURSELF LIKE SOME LOVELY LADY,

AND WHEN I CALL, SEE THAT YOU COME TO ME,

FOR I WILL SAY TO HIM THOU ART HIS WIFE,

DALLY WITH HIM AND HUG HIM IN THINE ARMS,

AND IF HE DESIRE TO GO TO BED WITH THEE,

BE GONE, I SAY, AND SEE THOU DOST IT WELL.

 BOY.  FEAR NOT, MY LORD, I'LL DANDLE HIM WELL ENOUGH

AND MAKE HIM THINK I LOVE HIM MIGHTILY.       (EXIT BOY.

 LORD.  NOW, SIRS, GO YOU AND MAKE YOU READY TOO,

FOR YOU MUST PLAY AS SOON AS HE DOTH WAKE.

 SAN.  O BRAVE, SIRRAH TOM, WE MUST PLAY BEFORE

A FOOLISH LORD.  COME, LET'S GO MAKE US READY.

GO GET A DISHCLOTH TO MAKE CLEAN YOUR SHOES,

AND I'LL SPEAK FOR THE PROPERTIES.  MY LORD, WE MUST

HAVE A SHOULDER OF MUTTON FOR A PROPERTY,

AND A LITTLE VINEGAR TO MAKE OUR DEVIL ROAR.

 LORD.  VERY WELL:  SIRRAH, SEE THAT THEY WANT NOTHING.    (EXEUNT OMNES.

     ENTER TWO WITH A TABLE AND A BANQUET ON IT, AND TWO

             OTHERS, WITH SLY ASLEEP IN A CHAIR, RICHLY

              APPARELLED, AND THE MUSIC PLAYING.

 ONE.  SO:  SIRRAH, NOW GO CALL MY LORD,

AND TELL HIM THAT ALL THINGS IS READY AS HE WILLED IT.

 ANOTHER.  SET THOU SOME WINE UPON THE BOARD

AND THEN I'LL GO FETCH MY LORD PRESENTLY.   (EXIT.

          ENTER THE LORD AND HIS MEN.

 LORD.  HOW NOW, WHAT, IS ALL THINGS READY?

 ONE.  AY, MY LORD.

 LORD.  THEN SOUND THE MUSIC, AND I'LL WAKE HIM STRAIGHT,

AND SEE YOU DO AS ERST I GAVE IN CHARGE.

MY LORD!   MY LORD!   HE SLEEPS SOUNDLY.  MY LORD!

 SLY.  TAPSTER, GI'S A LITTLE SMALL ALE.  HEIGH HO...

 LORD.  HERE'S WINE MY LORD, THE PUREST OF THE GRAPE.

 SLY.  FOR WHICH LORD?

 LORD.  FOR YOUR HONOR, MY LORD.

 SLY.  WHO I?  AM I A LORD?  JESUS, WHAT FINE APPAREL HAVE I GOT.

 LORD.  MORE RICHER FAR YOUR HONOR HATH TO WEAR,

AND IF IT PLEASE YOU I WILL FETCH THEM STRAIGHT.

 WILL.  AND IF YOUR HONOR PLEASE TO RIDE ABROAD,

I'LL FETCH YOU LUSTY STEEDS MORE SWIFT OF PACE

THAN WINGED PEGASUS IN ALL HIS PRIDE,

THAT RAN SO SWIFTLY O'ER THE PERSIAN PLAINS.

 TOM.  AND IF YOUR HONOR PLEASE TO HUNT THE DEER,

YOUR HOUNDS STAND READY COUPLED AT THE DOOR,

AND MAKE THE LONG BREATH'D TIGER BROKEN-WINDED.

 SLY.  BY THE MASS, I THINK I AM A LORD INDEED,

WHAT'S THY NAME?

 LORD.  SIMON, AND IT PLEASE YOUR HONOR.

 SLY.  SIMON, THAT'S AS MUCH TO SAY 'SI MI ON' OR 'SIMON'

PUT FORTH THY HAND AND FILL THE POT.

GIVE ME THY HAND, SIM, AM I LORD INDEED?

 LORD.  AY, MY GRACIOUS LORD, AND YOUR LOVELY LADY

LONG TIME HATH MOURNED FOR YOUR ABSENCE HERE,

AND NOW WITH JOY BEHOLD WHERE SHE DOTH COME

TO 'GRATULATE YOUR HONOR'S SAFE RETURN.

          ENTER THE BOY IN WOMAN'S ATTIRE.

 SLY.  SIM, IS THIS SHE?

 LORD.  AY, MY LORD.

 SLY.  MASS, TIS A PRETTY WENCH, WHAT'S HER NAME?

 BOY.  OH THAT MY LOVELY LORD WOULD ONCE VOUCHSAFE

TO LOOK ON ME, AND LEAVE THESE FRANTIC FITS,

OR WERE I NOW BUT HALF SO ELOQUENT,

TO PAINT IN WORDS WHAT I'LL PERFORM IN DEEDS,

I KNOW YOUR HONOR THEN WOULD PITY ME.

 SLY.  HARK, YOU MISTRESS, WILL YOU EAT A PIECE OF BREAD,

COME, SIT DOWN ON MY KNEE, SIM, DRINK TO HER, SIM,

FOR SHE AND I WILL GO TO BED ANON.

 LORD.  MAY IT PLEASE YOU, YOUR HONOR'S PLAYERS BE COME

TO OFFER YOUR HONOR A PLAY.

 SLY.  A PLAY, SIM, O BRAVE, BE THEY MY PLAYERS?

 LORD.  AY, MY LORD.

 SLY.  IS THERE NOT A FOOL IN THE PLAY?

 LORD.  YES, MY LORD.

 SLY.  WHEN WILL THEY PLAY SIM?

 LORD.  EVEN WHEN IT PLEASE YOUR HONOR, THEY BE READY.

 BOY.  MY LORD, I'LL GO BID THEM BEGIN THEIR PLAY.

 SLY.  DO, BUT LOOK THAT YOU COME AGAIN.

 BOY.  I WARRANT YOU, MY LORD, I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU THUS.     (EXIT BOY.

 SLY.  COME SIM, WHERE BE THE PLAYERS?  SIM, STAND BY

GIVE ENTERTAINMENT TO MY DEAREST FRIEND.

AUREL.  THANKS, NOBLE POLIDOR, MY SECOND SELF,

THE FAITHFUL LOVE WHICH I HAVE FOUND IN THEE

HATH MADE ME LEAVE MY FATHER'S PRINCELY COURT,

THE DUKE OF SESTOS' THRICE RENOWNED SEAT,

TO COME TO ATHENS THUS TO FIND THEE OUT,

WHICH SINCE I HAVE SO HAPPILY ATTAINED,

AS ERST DID CAESAR WHEN HE CONQUERED MOST.

BUT TELL ME, NOBLE FRIEND, WHERE SHALL WE LODGE,

FOR I AM UNACQUAINTED IN THIS PLACE.

 POLI.  MY LORD, IF YOU VOUCHSAFE OF SCHOLARS' FARE,

MY HOUSE, MYSELF, AND ALL IS YOURS TO USE,

YOU AND YOUR MEN SHALL STAY AND LODGE WITH ME.

AUREL.  WITH ALL MY HEART, I WILL REQUITE THY LOVE.

          ENTER SIMON, ALPHONSO, AND HIS THREE DAUGHTERS.

BUT STAY, WHAT DAMES ARE THESE SO BRIGHT OF HUE

WHOSE EYES ARE BRIGHTER THAN THE LAMPS OF HEAVEN,

FAIRER THAN ROCKS OF PEARL AND PRECIOUS STONE,

MORE LOVELY FAR THAN IS THE MORNING SUN,

WHEN FIRST SHE OPES HER ORIENTAL GATES.

 ALFON.  DAUGHTERS, BE GONE, AND HIE YOU TO THE CHURCH,

AND I WILL HIE ME DOWN UNTO THE KEY,

TO SEE WHAT MERCHANDISE IS COME ASHORE.       (EXEUNT OMNES.

 POL.  WHY, HOW NOW, MY LORD, WHAT IN A DUMP,

TO SEE THESE DAMSELS PASS AWAY SO SOON?

 AUREL.  TRUST ME, MY FRIEND, I MUST CONFESS TO THEE,

I TOOK SO MUCH DELIGHT IN THESE FAIR DAMES,

AS I DO WISH THEY HAD NOT GONE SO SOON,

BUT, IF THOU CANST, RESOLVE ME WHAT THEY BE,

AND WHAT OLD MAN IT WAS THAT WENT WITH THEM,

FOR I DO LONG TO SEE THEM ONCE AGAIN.

 POL.  I CANNOT BLAME YOUR HONOR, GOOD MY LORD,

FOR THEY ARE BOTH LOVELY, WISE, FAIR AND YOUNG,

AND ONE OF THEM, THE YOUNGEST OF THE THREE,

I LONG HAVE LOV'D (SWEET FRIEND) AND SHE LOV'D ME,

BUT NEVER YET WE COULD NOT FIND A MEANS

HOW WE MIGHT COMPASS OUR DESIRED JOYS.

 AUREL.  WHY, IS NOT HER FATHER WILLING TO THE MATCH?

 POL.  YES, TRUST ME, BUT HE HATH SOLEMNLY SWORN,

HIS ELDEST DAUGHTER FIRST SHALL BE ESPOUS'D,

BEFORE HE GRANTS HIS YOUNGEST LEAVE TO LOVE,

AND, THEREFORE, HE THAT MEANS TO GET THEIR LOVES,

MUST FIRST PROVIDE FOR HER IF HE WILL SPEED,

AND HE THAT HATH HER SHALL BE FETTER'D SO,

AS GOOD BE WEDDED TO THE DEVIL HIMSELF,

FOR SUCH A SCOLD AS SHE DID NEVER LIVE,

WHICH MAKES ME THINK THAT ALL MY LABOR'S LOST,

AND WHOSOE'ER CAN GET HER FIRM GOOD WILL,

A LARGE DOWRY HE SHALL BE SURE TO HAVE,

FOR HER FATHER IS A MAN OF MIGHTY WEALTH,

AND AN ANCIENT CITIZEN OF THE TOWN,

AND THAT WAS HE THAT WENT ALONG WITH THEM.

 AUREL.  BUT HE SHALL KEEP HER STILL BY MY ADVICE,

AND YET I NEEDS MUST LOVE HIS SECOND DAUGHTER

THE IMAGE OF HONOR AND NOBILITY,

IN WHOSE SWEET PERSON IS COMPRIS'D THE SUM

OF NATURE'S SKILL AND HEAVENLY MAJESTY.

   POL.  I LIKE YOUR CHOICE, AND GLAD YOU CHOSE NOT MINE.

THEN, IF YOU LIKE TO FOLLOW ON YOUR LOVE,

WE MUST DEVISE A MEANS AND FIND SOMEONE

THAT WILL ATTEMPT TO WED THIS DEVILISH SCOLD,

AND I DO KNOW THE MAN.  COME HITHER, BOY,

GO YOUR WAYS, SIRRAH, TO FERANDO'S HOUSE,

DESIRE HIM TAKE THE PAINS TO COME TO ME,

FOR I MUST SPEAK WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY.

 BOY.  I WILL, SIR, AND FETCH HIM PRESENTLY.

 POL.  A MAN, I THINK, WILL FIT HER HUMOR RIGHT,

AS BLUNT IN SPEECH AS SHE IS SHARP OF TONGUE,

AND HE, I THINK, WILL MATCH HER EVERY WAY,

AND YET HE IS A MAN OF WEALTH SUFFICIENT,

AND FOR HIS PERSON WORTH AS GOOD AS SHE,

AND IF HE COMPASS HER TO BE HIS WIFE,

THEN MAY WE FREELY VISIT BOTH OUR LOVES.

 AUREL.  O, MIGHT I SEE THE CENTER OF MY SOUL

WHOSE SACRED BEAUTY HATH ENCHANTED ME,

MORE FAIR THAN WAS THE GRECIAN HELENA

FOR WHOSE SWEET SAKE SO MANY PRINCES DIED,

THAT CAME WITH THOUSAND SHIPS TO TENEDOS.

AND FIND ME CLOTHED THUS IN YOUR ATTIRE,

HOW WOULD HE TAKE IT THEN, THINK YOU, MY LORD?

 AUREL.  TUSH FEAR NOT, VALERIA, LET ME ALONE,

BUT STAY, HERE COMES SOME OTHER COMPANY.

     ENTER FERANDO AND HIS MAN SANDER WITH A BLUE COAT.

 POL.  HERE COMES THE MAN THAT I DID TELL YOU OF.

 FERAN.  GOOD MORROW, GENTLEMEN, TO ALL AT ONCE.

HOW NOW, POLIDOR, WHAT MAN, STILL IN LOVE?

EVER WOOING AND CANST THOU NEVER SPEED?

 SAN.  I WARRANT YOU, MASTER, AND YOU TAKE MY COUNSEL.

 FERAN.  WHY, SIRRAH, ARE YOU SO CUNNING?

 SAN.  WHO, I?  'T WERE BETTER FOR YOU BY FIVE MARK

AND YOU COULD TELL HOW TO DO IT AS WELL AS I.

 POL.  I WOULD THY MASTER ONCE WERE IN THE VEIN,

TO TRY HIMSELF HOW HE COULD WOO A WENCH.

 FERAN.  FAITH, I AM EVEN NOW A GOING.

 SAN.  I' FAITH SIR, MY MASTER'S GOING TO THIS GEAR NOW.

 POL.  WHITHER, IN FAITH, FERANDO?  TELL ME TRUE.

 FERAN.  TO BONNY KATE, THE PATIENT'ST WENCH ALIVE,

THE DEVIL HIMSELF DARES SCARCE VENTURE TO WOO HER,

SIGNOR ALFONSO'S ELDEST DAUGHTER,

AND HE HATH PROMIS'D ME SIX THOUSAND CROWNS

IF I CAN WIN HER ONCE TO BE MY WIFE,

AND SHE AND I MUST WOO WITH SCOLDING SURE,

AND I WILL HOLD HER TO'T TILL SHE BE WEARY,

OR ELSE I'LL MAKE HER YIELD TO GRANT ME LOVE.

 POL.  HOW LIKE YOU THIS, AURELIUS, I THINK HE KNEW

BUT TELL ME, WHEN DO YOU MEAN TO SPEAK WITH HER?

OUR MINDS BEFORE WE SENT TO HIM.

 FERAN.  FAITH PRESENTLY, DO YOU BUT STAND ASIDE,

AND I WILL MAKE HER FATHER BRING HER HITHER,

AND SHE, AND I, AND HE, WILL TALK ALONE.

 POL.  WITH ALL OUR HEARTS, COME, AURELIUS,

LET US BE GONE AND LEAVE HIM HERE ALONE.    (EXIT.

 FERAN.  HO, SIGNOR ALFONSO, WHO'S WITHIN THERE?

 ALFON.  SIGNOR FERANDO, YOU'RE WELCOME HEARTILY,

YOU ARE A STRANGER, SIR, UNTO MY HOUSE.

HARK YOU, SIR, LOOK WHAT I DID PROMISE YOU

I'LL PERFORM, IF YOU GET MY DAUGHTER'S LOVE.

 FERAN.  THEN WHEN I HAVE TALK'D A WORD OR TWO WITH HER,

DO YOU STEP IN AND GIVE HER HAND TO ME,

AND TELL HER WHEN THE MARRIAGE DAY SHALL BE,

FOR I DO KNOW SHE WOULD BE MARRIED FAIN,

AND WHEN OUR NUPTIAL RITES BE ONCE PERFORM'D

LET ME ALONE TO TAME HER WELL ENOUGH.

NOW CALL HER FORTH THAT I MAY SPEAK WITH HER.

                        ENTER KATE.

 ALFON.  HA, KATE, COME HITHER, WENCH, AND LIST TO ME,

USE THIS GENTLEMAN FRIENDLY AS THOU CANST.

 KATE.  YOU JEST, I AM SURE.  IS SHE YOUR'S ALREADY?

 FERAN.  I TELL THEE, KATE, I KNOW THOU LOV'ST ME WELL.

 KATE.  THE DEVIL YOU DO.  WHO TOLD YOU SO?

 FERAN.  MY MIND, SWEET KATE, DOTH SAY I AM THE MAN,

MUST WED, AND BED, AND MARRY BONNY KATE.

 KATE.  WAS EVER SEEN SO GROSS AN ASS AS THIS?

 FERAN.  AY, TO STAND SO LONG AND NEVER GET A KISS.

 KATE.  HANDS OFF, I SAY, AND GET YOU FROM THIS PLACE;

OR I WILL SET MY TEN COMMANDMENTS IN YOUR FACE.

 FERAN.  I PRITHEE, DO, KATE,  THEY SAY THOU ART A SHREW,

AND I LIKE THEE THE BETTER, FOR I WOULD HAVE THEE SO.

 KATE.  LET GO MY HAND, FOR FEAR IT REACH YOUR EAR.

 FERAN.  NO KATE, THIS HAND IS MINE AND I THY LOVE.

 KATE.  IN FAITH, SIR, NO, THE WOODCOCK WANTS HIS TAIL.

 FERAN.  BUT YET HIS BILL WILL SERVE, IF THE OTHER FAIL.

 ALFON.  HOW NOW, FERANDO, WHAT SAYS MY DAUGHTER?

 FERAN.  SHE'S WILLING, SIR, AND LOVES ME AS HER LIFE.

 KATE.  TIS FOR YOUR SKIN THEN, BUT NOT TO BE YOUR WIFE.

 ALFON.  COME HITHER, KATE, AND LET ME GIVE THY HAND

TO HIM THAT I HAVE CHOSEN FOR THY LOVE,

AND THOU TOMORROW SHALT BE WED TO HIM

 KATE.  WHY, FATHER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO DO WITH ME,

TO GIVE ME THUS UNTO THIS BRAINSICK MAN,

THAT IN HIS MOOD CARES NOT TO MURDER ME?

                    (SHE TURNS ASIDE AND SPEAKS.

BUT YET I WILL CONSENT AND MARRY HIM,

FOR I METHINKS HAVE LIV'D TOO LONG A MAID,

AND MATCH HIM TO, OR ELSE HIS MANHOOD'S GOOD.

 ALFON.  GIVE ME THY HAND.  FERANDO LOVES THEE WELL,

SO SAD?  BE MERRY, WENCH, THY WEDDING DAY'S AT HAND.

SON, FARE YOU WELL, AND SEE YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISE.

           EXIT ALFONSO AND KATE.

 FERAN.  SO, ALL THUS FAR GOES WELL.  HO SANDER.

                    (ENTER SANDER LAUGHING.

 SAN.  SANDER, I'FAITH YOUR'RE A BEAST.  I CRY GOD HEARTILY

MERCY, MY HEART'S READY TO RUN OUT OF MY BELLY WITH

LAUGHING.  I STOOD BEHIND THE DOOR ALL THIS WHILE,

 FERAN.  WHY, DID'ST THOU THINK THAT I DID NOT SPEAK WELL TO HER?

 SAN.  YOU SPOKE LIKE AN ASS TO HER, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

AND I HAD BEEN THERE TO HAVE WOO'D HER, AND HAD THIS

CLOAK ON THAT YOU HAVE, CHUD HAVE HAD HER BEFORE SHE

HAD GONE A FOOT FURTHER, AND YOU TALK OF WOODCOCKS

WITH HER, AND I CANNOT TELL YOU WHAT.

 FERAN.  WELL, SIRRAH, AND YET THOU SEEST I HAVE GOT HER FOR ALL THIS.

 SAN.  AY, MARRY 'TWAS MORE BY HAP THAN ANY GOOD CUNNING.

I HOPE SHE'LL MAKE YOU ONE OF THE HEAD MEN OF THE PARISH SHORTLY.

 FERAN.  WELL, SIRRAH, LEAVE YOUR JESTING AND GO TO POLIDOR'S HOUSE,

THE YOUNG GENTLEMAN THAT WAS HERE WITH ME,

AND TELL HIM THE CIRCUMSTANCE OF ALL THOU KNOW'ST,

TELL HIM ON SUNDAY NEXT WE MUST BE MARRIED,

AND IF HE ASK THEE WHITHER I AM GONE,

   TELL HIM INTO THE COUNTRY TO MY HOUSE,

AND UPON SUNDAY I'LL BE HERE AGAIN.  EXIT FERANDO.

 SAN.  I WARRANT YOU MASTER FEAR NOT ME

FOR DOING OF MY BUSINESS.

NOW HANG HIM THAT HAS NOT A LIVERY COAT

TO SLASH IT OUT AND SWASH IT OUT AMONGST THE PROUDEST

ON THEM.  WHY, LOOK YOU NOW, I'LL SCARCE PUT UP

PLAIN 'SANDER' NOW AT ANY OF THEIR HANDS, FOR AND ANYBODY

THEY COME CROUCHING UPON ME, 'I BESEECH YOU GOOD MASTER

HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY MASTER, STRAIGHT

SANDER SPEAK A GOOD WORD FOR ME,' AND THEN AM I SO

STOUT AND TAKES IT UPON ME, AND STANDS UPON MY PANTOFFLES

TO THEM OUT OF ALL CRY, WHY I HAVE A LIFE LIKE A GIANT

NOW, BUT THAT MY MASTER HATH SUCH A PESTILENT MIND

TO A WOMAN NOW A LATE, AND I HAVE A PRETTY WENCH

TO MY SISTER, AND I HAD THOUGHT TO HAVE PREFERR'D MY

MASTER TO HER, AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD

DEAL IN MY WAY, BUT THAT HE'S SPED ALREADY.

             ENTER POLIDOR'S BOY.

 BOY.  FRIEND, WELL MET.

 SAN.  ZOUNDS, 'FRIEND WELL MET,' I HOLD MY LIFE HE SEES

NOT MY MASTER'S LIVERY COAT.

 BOY.  TRUST ME, SIR, IT IS THE USE WHERE I WAS BORN,

TO SALUTE MEN AFTER THIS MANNER, YET NOTWITHSTANDING,

IF YOU BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CALLING OF YOU 'FRIEND',

I AM THE MORE SORRY FOR IT HOPING THE STYLE

OF A FOOL WILL MAKE YOU AMENDS FOR ALL.

 SAN.  THE SLAVE IS SORRY FOR HIS FAULT, NOW WE CANNOT BE

ANGRY, WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER THAT YOU WOULD DO WITH US.

 BOY.  MARRY, SIR, I HEAR YOU PERTAIN TO SIGNOR FERANDO.

 SAN.  AY, AND THOU BEEST NOT BLIND, THOU MAY'ST SEE,

ECCE SIGNUM, HERE.

 BOY.  SHALL I ENTREAT YOU TO DO ME A MESSAGE TO YOU MASTER?

 SAN.  AY, IT MAY BE, AND YOU TELL US FROM WHENCE YOU COME.

 BOY.  MARRY, SIR, I SERVE YOUNG POLIDOR, YOUR MASTER'S FRIEND.

 SAN.  DO YOU SERVE HIM, AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

 BOY.  MY NAME, SIRRAH, I TELL THEE, SIRRAH, IS CALL'D CATAPIE.

 SAN.  CAKE AND PIE?  O MY TEETH WATERS TO HAVE A PIECE OF THEE.

 BOY.  WHY, SLAVE, WOULD'ST THOU EAT ME?

 SAN.  EAT THEE?  WHO WOULD NOT EAT CAKE AND PIE?

 BOY.  WHY, VILLAIN, MY NAME IS CATAPIE,

BUT WILT THOU TELL ME WHERE THY MASTER IS?

 SAN.  NAY, THOU MUST FIRST TELL ME WHERE THY MASTER IS,

FOR I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR HIM, I CAN TELL THEE.

 BOY.  WHY, SEE WHERE HE COMES.

        ENTER POLIDOR, AURELIUS AND VALERIA.

 POL.  COME, SWEET AURELIUS, MY FAITHFUL FRIEND,

NOW WILL WE GO TO SEE THOSE LOVELY DAMES

RICHER IN BEAUTY THAN THE ORIENT PEARL,

WHITER THAN IS THE ALPINE CRYSTAL MOULD,

AND FAR MORE LOVELY THAN THE TEREAN PLANT,

THAT BLUSHING IN THE AIR TURNS TO A STONE.

WHAT, SANDER, WHAT NEWS WITH YOU?

 SAN.  MARRY, SIR, MY MASTER SENDS YOU WORD

THAT YOU MUST COME TO HIS WEDDING TOMORROW.

 POL.  WHAT, SHALL HE BE MARRIED THEN?

TAKE THOU THY LUTE AND GO TO ALFONSO'S HOUSE,

AND SAY THAT POLIDOR SENT THEE THITHER.

 POL.  AY, VALERIA, FOR HE SPOKE TO ME,

TO HELP HIM TO SOME CUNNING MUSICIAN,

AND THOU, I KNOW, WILL FIT HIS TURN SO WELL

AS THOU SHALT GET GREAT FAVOR AT HIS HANDS,

BEGONE, VALERIA, AND SAY I SENT THEE TO HIM.

 VALER.  I WILL SIR, AND STAY YOUR COMING AT ALFONSO'S HOUSE.

                      (EXIT VALERIA.

 POL.  NOW, SWEET AURELIUS, BY THIS DEVICE

SHALL WE HAVE LEISURE FOR TO COURT OUR LOVES,

FOR WHILST THAT SHE IS LEARNING ON THE LUTE,

HER SISTERS MAY TAKE TIME TO STEAL ABROAD,

FOR OTHERWISE SHE'LL KEEP THEM BOTH WITHIN,

AND MAKE THEM WORK WHILST SHE HERSELF DOTH PLAY.

BUT COME, LET'S GO UNTO ALFONSO'S HOUSE,

AND SEE HOW VALERIA AND KATE AGREE.

I DOUBT HIS MUSIC SCARCE WILL PLEASE HIS SCHOLAR,

BUT STAY, HERE COMES ALFONSO.

                     ENTER ALFONSO.

 ALFONSO.  WHAT, MASTER POLIDOR, YOU ARE WELL MET,

I THANK YOU FOR THE MAN YOU SENT TO ME,

A GOOD MUSICIAN I THINK HE IS,

I HAVE SET MY DAUGHTER AND HIM TOGETHER,

BUT IS THIS GENTLEMAN A FRIEND OF YOURS?

 POL.  HE IS, I PRAY YOU, SIR, BID HIM WELCOME,

HE'S A WEALTHY MERCHANT'S SON OF SESTOS.

 ALFONSO.  YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR, AND IF MY HOUSE AFFORD

YOU ANYTHING THAT MAY CONTENT YOUR MIND,

I PRAY YOU, SIR, MAKE BOLD WITH ME.

 AUREL.  I THANK YOU, SIR, AND OF WHAT I HAVE GOT,

BY MERCHANDISE OR TRAVEL ON THE SEAS,

SATINS OR LAWNS OR AZURE COLORED SILK,

OR PRECIOUS FIERY POINTED STONES OF INDIE,

YOU SHALL COMMAND BOTH THEM MYSELF AND ALL.

 ALFON.  THANKS, GENTLE SIR.  POLIDOR, TAKE HIM IN,

AND BID HIM WELCOME, TOO, UNTO MY HOUSE,

FOR THOU, I THINK, MUST BE MY SECOND SON.

FERANDO, (POLIDOR, DOST THOU NOT KNOW)

MUST MARRY KATE, AND TOMORROW IS THE DAY.

 POL.  SUCH NEWS I HEARD, AND I CAME NOW TO KNOW.

 ALFON.  POLIDOR, TIS TRUE, GO, LET ME ALONE,

FOR I MUST SEE AGAINST THE BRIDEGROOM COME,

THAT ALL THINGS BE ACCORDING TO HIS MIND,

AND SO I'LL LEAVE YOU FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.      (EXIT.

AND WE'LL GO SIT A WHILE AND CHAT WITH THEM,

AND AFTER BRING THEM FORTH TO TAKE THE AIR.    (EXIT.

                      THEN SLY SPEAKS.

 SLY.  SIM, WHEN WILL THE FOOL COME AGAIN?

 LORD.  HE'LL COME AGAIN, MY LORD, ANON.

 SLY.  GI'S SOME MORE DRINK HERE, ZOUNDS, WHERE'S

THE TAPSTER, HERE, SIM, EAT SOME OF THESE THINGS.

 LORD. SO I DO, MY LORD.

 SLY.  HERE, SIM, I DRINK TO THEE.

 LORD.  MY LORD, HERE COME THE PLAYERS AGAIN.

 SLY.  O BRAVE, HERE'S TWO FINE GENTLEWOMEN.

      ENTER VALERIA WITH A LUTE AND KATE WITH HIM.

 VALE.  THE SENSELESS TREES BY MUSIC HAVE BEEN MOV'D

AND AT THE SOUND OF PLEASANT TUNED STRINGS,

HAVE SAVAGE BEASTS HUNG DOWN THEIR LIST'NING HEADS,

AS THOUGH THEY HAD BEEN CAST INTO A TRANCE.

THEN IT MAY BE THAT SHE WHOM NOUGHT CAN PLEASE,

WITH MUSIC'S SOUND IN TIME MAY BE SURPRIS'D.

COME, LOVELY MISTRESS, WILL YOU TAKE YOUR LUTE,

AND PLAY THE LESSON THAT I TAUGHT YOU LAST?

 KATE.  IT IS NO MATTER WHETHER I DO OR NO,

FOR, TRUST ME, I TAKE NO GREAT DELIGHT IN IT.

 VALE.  I WOULD, SWEET MISTRESS, THAT IT LAY IN ME,

TO HELP YOU TO THAT THING THAT'S YOUR DELIGHT.

 KATE.  IN YOU WITH A PEST'LENCE!  ARE YOU SO KIND?

THEN MAKE A NIGHT CAP OF YOUR FIDDLE'S CASE,

TO WARM YOUR HEAD, AND HIDE YOUR FILTHY FACE.

 VAL.  IF THAT, SWEET MISTRESS, WERE YOUR HEART'S CONTENT,

YOU SHOULD COMMAND A GREATER THING THAN THAT,

ALTHOUGH IT WERE TEN TIMES TO MY DISGRACE.

 KATE.  YOU'RE SO KIND 'TWERE PITY YOU SHOULD BE HANG'D,

AND YET METHINKS THE FOOL DOTH LOOK ASQUINT.

 VAL.  WHY, MISTRESS, DO YOU MOCK ME?

I'LL MAKE IT AND YOUR FOOLISH COXCOMB MEET.

       SHE OFFERS TO STRIKE HIM WITH THE LUTE.

 VAL.  HOLD, MISTRESS, ZOUNDS, WILL YOU BREAK MY LUTE?

 KATE.  AY, ON THY HEAD, AND IF THOU SPEAK TO ME,

THERE, TAKE IT UP, AND FIDDLE SOMEWHERE ELSE...          (SHE THROWS IT DOWN.

LEST THAT I CLAP YOUR FIDDLE ON YOUR FACE.        (EXIT KATE.

 VAL.  ZOUNDS, TEACH HER TO PLAY UPON THE LUTE?

THE DEVIL SHALL TEACH HER FIRST, I AM GLAD SHE'S GONE,

FOR I WAS NE'ER SO 'FRAID IN ALL MY LIFE,

BUT THAT MY LUTE SHOULD FLY ABOUT MINE EARS.

MY MASTER SHALL TEACH HER HIS SELF FOR ME,

FOR I'LL KEEP ME FAR ENOUGH WITHOUT HER REACH,

FOR HE AND POLIDOR SENT ME BEFORE

TO BE WITH HER AND TEACH HER ON THE LUTE,

WHILST THEY DID COURT THE OTHER GENTLEWOMEN,

AND HERE METHINKS THEY COME TOGETHER.

     ENTER AURELIUS, POLIDOR, EMELIA, AND PHILEMA.

 POL.  HOW NOW VALERIA, WHERE'S YOUR MISTRESS?

 VAL.  AT THE VENGEANCE I THINK AND NOWHERE ELSE.

 AUREL.  WHY, VALERIA, WILL SHE NOT LEARN APACE?

 VAL.  YES